The World without Bullying


We all recall this saying above from when we were younger and growing up. I think I recall hearing it most when I was in elementary. Too bad, it isn’t true. Words hurt just as much as actions do and these days bullying is on a rise. I know it occurred in my adolescent days in the 80’s and 90’s, but now a days it has become so much more prominent. We are seeing kids shoot up schools, commit suicide, and become introvert over it. They are making Lifetime movies behind the story lines and true stories based on the way students are responding to the bullying and the battle of trying to overcome it.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a bully as a blustering browbeating person; especially:  one habitually cruel to others who are weaker. I just want to make sure in case someone reads this and isn’t sure what we are discussing they know the context in which I will be discussing this. So in an effort to break it down a little more the website sharing that it ranges from teasing, spreading rumors, leaving kids out on purpose, and attacking someone by hitting them or yelling at them. It goes on to discuss the rise in cyber bullying and how this occurs. We have seen a rise in this as well over the last few years with the increase of social media and children and teenagers being able to create pages on sites.

I find this to be a major issues in today’s society and not just with children. I see it happen amongst all age groups. I think we hear about it most in children because of the actions of some of these kids and their actions. I find myself most amazed by the stories and the effort it takes them to make someone else feel bad. I want to say that I first wonder what their parents are like and if they have anything to do with the behavior. I am not saying blame parents, I am saying I am curious as some of these kids are picking up the behavior they are seeing adults do and get things they want. On the other hand you will have the kids out there that are taking out the lack of dealing with other issues not resolved by bullying or belittling someone else. It has never been any secret that kids can be cruel at times and I am not sure that is really it or they can be more candid than anything. However, after a certain age, they understand fully what is not nice to say to another person or party. When you look at stats like approximately 160,000 teens skip school every day because of bullying and over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year per you can’t help but know it is a growing issue in America.

Many will act like this is not an issues in schools and in workplaces, but it isn’t just the future of America that is in jeopardy by these children talking to one another as Donald Trump often finds it ok to speak about his opponents. I share this as he has been known at times to avoid answering the question and address someone’s appearance or lack thereof based on his judgement or opinion. I have to ask myself, who is he to judge and make any comments on anyone else’s features. I bring him up as his numbers in the polls indicate there are actually people considering him for President and if we are looking at someone who can’t have a fluid conversation without slandering someone’s looks… I wonder if bullying would rise with a leader like this in office, after all he is and would continue to be a figure in the public eye. Kids don’t always know when seeing adults act like this and parents not taking time to remind them this kind of behavior is not ok, that we can’t behave this way. I wonder if the Trump has considered what he would do if it was someone else talking to his children the way speaks to fellow counterparts or makes comments about women. I am not picking on him, I say this as so many of us watch television with our kids in the room and may even tune into the debates or news channels and see these recounts of his or anyone’s actions. We may comment and condone it before thinking about the impressionable person listening and watching how we respond to those comments.


So, if we were all to stop and Look at the Man in the Mirror as Michael Jackson so nicely graced us with his tunes, where this world would be. Bullying hasn’t risen because this type of behavior is acceptable. Cyber bullying hasn’t been able to increase due to the lack of attention being given to it. Cyber bullying just brings me to another point. Do children really need to be on social media?? Many adults don’t know the do’s and don’ts of social media; so do children? We have opened this platform up for our children and it has become a mainstream avenue to easily be derogatory with other children, heck some adults use it for the same thing. I want you to think of this one step further as someone will read this and say, kids will be kids. I believe there is some truth in that statement, however, keep in mind that without them understanding to handle themselves on social media opens them up to more things then what they deal with right now. Jobs, colleges, etc are not researching peoples social media sites at times reviewing people’s behavior. We all know that what is put online can always be found. Do we need our adolescents posting things that may not indicate who they are or will be in the future that can damage their future? Some colleges are looking at recruiting and following students with talent from middle school all the way up. I am just wanting us to get out of this mind frame that, because they are young it won’t impact their future. We need to be addressing these issues head on. Do you think that kids come up with ideas about not liking their hair, shape of their nose, roundness of their chin on their own? Some in time will, many will gain insecurities over what they have been harassed on overtime. I want our parents to be vigilant and willing to combat it head on with your child or children in your village per say. If you are a parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent and you are a bully, you need to recognize the fact that you are helping aid in molding this little one’s future and consider changing the way you handle things. I know, I know… I will have some people asking. Who does she think she is with this? What I do know is I have seen adults do the same thing, outcast someone they don’t even know due to something they aren’t sure they can relate to or with. Folks, we all have to exist on this earth as one. We all have differences and things that are unique about us, those differences shouldn’t pull us apart, but make us stronger. In the Corporate world, there is a reason they discuss focusing on each person’s strengths to grow and working to build on weaknesses to turn them into a strength.

I ask you to think of how different our world would be if students and adults weren’t considering taking their lives and hurting one another because their egos are bruised and they weren’t accepted. I ask you to take a look on how you start making a difference with who you are and how you conduct yourself. We all have Monsters under our bed as Rhianna and Eminem sing about in their song, but can we take someone else by the hand and help them through it. Can we offer a prayer up for the one we don’t understand as you don’t know what their battle is? Can we pay attention to our children and the ones you have an impact and not sugar coat the real issues. Have those hard discussions to make see where there head is and what is going on school and at social events? Can we consider saying no to social media as they don’t know how to properly use a cell phone at times, let alone social media with predators, and other things on it that many times is outside of their scope anyway?

I urge you to report bullying and open your eyes to make sure it isn’t your child that is bringing destruction on someone else as well as yourself. I know self-evaluation and self-awareness is not the easiest thing to do at times. I just wonder what our world would be like if we really all attempted to start with ourselves and or households to make a difference in such a large and horrible cause. If every child was excited about going to school and seeing the sun shine because the environment is or was different. If adults didn’t want to stay in their office or cubicle or classroom at break time due to not being accepted or rejected.

I feel strongly about the cause and therefore I will release a video soon on Facebook and YouTube.  Please stay tuned and thanks for stopping by.






Power vs Empire

If you enjoy a show with powerful men, action, unexpected twist and being left on the edge of your seat with cliffhangers then these shows fit that criteria. Oddly enough, I know most people I hear speak of one, watches both versus one or the other. The craz is on about these two shows. Similar but different and relatable to probably almost anyone. The shows are taking ratings by storm and I would say are probably one another’s largest competition.


Power has a story line of a man that is married to a women that met him while he was young and working on coming up. The main cast consist of Omari Hardwick, the husband; Naturi Naughton, the wife; Joe Sikora, the childhood best friend of Omari; Lela Loren, the childhood love; Curtis “50 cents” Jackson, one of the producers and a partner in crime in the drug game. He was and is a drug dealer and she was by his side every step of the way. As he moved up the chain in the drug game he realized he needed to mask the money he was making through legit means. As he grows as a husband and a man he gets to a point where he wants to get out of the drug game to be able to live a life where he can provide a safe environment for his family and enjoy life without those dangers. He finds himself going in a direction that his wife is not likely to follow. She wanted him to be the largest drug dealer in the game in their area. His best friend happens to be one that also doesn’t welcome the growth of this husband and father and attempts to keep him deeply tied to the street life. Omari and his wife reach a point of disagreement as she doesn’t welcome his change of heart. In the interim he runs into a women he loved dearly when he was younger and ends up cheating on his wife with her. All of these things make some great correlations of him reflecting in the mirror from the man he was and the man he was becoming with the challenges that come along with his lifestyle. The struggle of a man wanting to live a different life and his wife not being so supportive even when she finds out about the mistress.

TV STILL -- DO NOT PURGE -- EMPIRE: (L-R): Trai Byers as Andre Lyon, Taraji Henson as Cookie Lyon, Terrence Howard as Lucious Lyon, Jussie Smollett as Jamal Lyon and Trai Byers as Andre Lyon. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Michael Lavine/FOX
TV STILL — DO NOT PURGE — EMPIRE: (L-R): Trai Byers as Andre Lyon, Taraji Henson as Cookie Lyon, Terrence Howard as Lucious Lyon, Jussie Smollett as Jamal Lyon and Trai Byers as Andre Lyon. ©2014 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Michael Lavine/FOX

Empire happens to have a similar background in the way of the building of this families empire starts with drug money. The cast consist of Terrance Howard, the father; Taraji P. Henson, the wife; Trai Byers-the oldest son; Jussie Smollett, the middle son; and Bryshere Y. Gray, the youngest son. A young couple are in the drug game and have 3 boys when the wife is busted and takes a 17 year rap for their dealings. As her husband moves on during those years and building a music icon in a business after the family name and raising their sons; she is left as a memory. Once she gets out, her husband played by Terrance Howard, has moved on to someone else and isn’t so welcoming in her return or placing her in the business. This show reminds most of us of the extension of the movie Hustle and Flow where the two main stars continue in this show. The family is no longer involved in illegal activities as now the concern is taking a business public on the stock market, one son who has a mental illness that is not addressed, one homosexual son which the father does not know how to accept, and the woos that come with running at that top of the game in the music world.

The shows both focus on family men who happen to be black men. They are both very driven and focus on the providing for their families. One man that battles with his reflection in the mirror of who he was and who he is striving to become. Another father who is visited by his past memories of dropping one son in a trash can and the times when he made music on the side of his hustler life. They are both have women by their side that were down for that life and could be said to be ride or die chicks. However, as one starts to grow in a different direction the relationship on Power is challenged. The marriage between the couple on Empire falls apart as his wife is in prison for almost 20 years. I believe both could easily take a toll on a marriage or a long term relationship. I believe we have to stop and evaluate why we are with this person. Are we willing and wanting to make this work or do we run due to being stagnant and resistant to change. When one of us grow, change can be scary for some and others worry about the change in lifestyle. I guess in my mind, to have my man safe and out of harms way with a life that we no longer have to look over our backs or wonder if our kids will be ok would be enough to help me want to make that jump. You see in Power the wife is very resistant to this change. You have wonder if it is all based on the money and the life. Their marriage takes a hit as her husband cheats on her with someone he loved dearly before he met her. It seems to still not fully get her attention straight on the family being priority, but still aiming to get him to be one of the largest dealers in the game on their coast as she references. I think so many of the issues between the husband and wife teams are things we hear of most of the time. Listen to what your other half is sharing, don’t just hear it, but process it.

As the shows continue to dig their hooks into us, we learn of the family troubles on Empire. A husband left to raise his kids while his wife did time. One son with a mental illness, that is never properly dealt with until the son is in college. I do feel that most black families are not quick to jump on the bandwagon of a diagnosis like this without being resistant. However, in the long run this can only hurt the child at hand as they are neglected treatment until much later. The middle son played by Jussie is gay. This father has no clue how to take all this in. He does what he feels is the best he can by raising and providing for them. However, this father thought he was doing the best he could. He attempted to fix his son that would walk in women shoes on occasion by attempting to rid his son of this “condition”. Terrance is not able to rebuild or work on these relationships until his wife gets out of prison and adds some nurturing to the mix.

Although they are both entertaining and some feel it is just a continuation to depict the black community negatively, their ratings are off the charts. I believe as adults that make the choice to have children, planned or unplanned have to think about the environment we bring them into. No parenting method is perfect, but we have to find a balance between raising them and getting them ready for society while being sensitive to what comes with our bundles of joys. The ultimate concern should be welfare of the child and teaching them to be open, loving, understanding, planting values, and morals. I think as parents or parts of the family we get so caught up in what we are not comfortable with or are posed with situations we are not familiar with and therefore we don’t address it. This doesn’t fix the issue or search for an amicable way to handle it!!! It makes it a stupor later versus now.

The shows offer some great strong points to focus on, like family, providing, and how to handle some of the more stressful things in life. Let your partner be just that. They are a spouse and someone to assist, grow, and learn with you. Don’t make it a roommate situation by not being respectful of where they are going in life (of course I am not speaking of things like gender changes, those bring different dynamics to be addressed). As times move forward discuss goals, best way to raise your children, and carry over the open communication with your children. If they are confronted with tough times and what to do next, you would much rather they come to you versus feeling they can only speak with a friend that could happen to be a hormonal teenager who doesn’t think clearly and is more than likely lacking maturity. Don’t try and force your kids in the direction to live a life you chose not to. Let them enjoy their individuality and if that is hard for you as a parent, open that communication door and be open to learn how they feel.

Discussing the Bruce Jenner Interview

This interview got 17 million views and was highly anticipated by many. I can recall a few of my girls and I discussing how we were looking forward to watching this to see what would be shared. He started the interview diving right in and letting his hair down literally. He was the first super star to kick off the marketing using stars. I must say that it took courage, a sense of acceptance, and a heck of an amount of will power to come out and share his inner most feelings at 65. After all the stat was shared that there are 700K in the population that struggle with these battles.

The man people have seen as a top athlete for years shares he identifies his soul and mostly with a women. He is religious and shared that view as well. He explained that he felt God as he was designing him he needed to give him one thing to deal with, this was the one thing. He did this as a last interview as Bruce Jenner as after this he will reemerge as a women.

He shares that at a young age, he found that he wanted to wear a dress and dress up. However, I don’t know that this signifies huge concern for most children. Most kids of a certain age see shoes as shoes and cloths as cloths. Yes they may identify them with mommy or daddy but now a days you see men in the public eye wearing skirts or dresses in an effort to make a fashion statement and that have not advised they are transgender or have a different sexual preference. I say this because some parents get so caught up on small things and run with it. I don’t have kids but I have seen it amongst parents and even in the interview the doctors share they are seeing an influx of people brining their kids in asking if their kids are transgender. I am not saying don’t pay attention to the signs, but also don’t try and put this feeling on your children if they are truly just playing.

A man that has been married three times now shares his deep down yearning. I admit that with the lime light he has been in, this had to be one of the hardest things to do. He was candid in the interview and shared in all three marriages that he did not share this feeling with any of the women until after he was married to them. One of the wives encouraged counseling and trying to see if this was something that would pass or could be discussed. The counselor per the interview shared this was not something he would be healed from. One marriage grows apart because he lacks energy in the marriage??? Hmm… so no deeper concern into what he shares about wanting to cross dress every now and then?

Needlessly to say, none of the marriages lasted. He is though a father of 6 now at this point. He shared he was never attracted to men. He has always felt heterosexual. I say this took me back some as a female, my brain, my soul yearns for a man. He went on to explain the difference between sexuality is whom you go to bed with and gender is who you go to bed as. I think it was great they shared this as some maybe unsure of the difference.

TG genitals and gender

At 40, Jenner starts to transition by taking hormones and starts to transition for 5 years, electrolysis on his beard, etc. He stopped this as he is religious and was concerned about how it would impact his children. Some of the kids shared they were relieved he has come out and others had seen him in a dress at their home. None of these things ever appeared to be address, all waited for him to bring it up to discuss it. I have to wonder though as a child, how confusing it can be to see dad in mommy’s cloths and then not be able to speak on it. On a positive note, he seems very open to share his feelings, struggles, etc with his family and the world which I think will be positive in them all adjusting to his transition.

As many say, they wake up in a body they do not know or how to be that gender as they feel connected to a certain gender. Dr. Olsen on the interview advised being transgender is not a mental disorder and that parents can’t blame themselves. They are seeing more and more that it lives in the brain vs based on the genitals that they see in the mirror.

As this interview progressed, I found myself glued to the television. I did record it as I knew I would want to watch it again. His interview will speak to so many people out there that struggle with who they are, acceptance, and finding love. This society has come a long way, but we know has a milestones to go. As many people strive to find understanding, some won’t because to them it just doesn’t make sense. He did a fantastic job of explaining what he has gone through his entire life, sharing with his wives and children, and how he feels now that he has been honest with everyone. In the midst of the show, they preview a new show starting called Becoming Us starting Monday, June 8th. What a great way to market. They knew their target audience would be watching and everyone else. Not only would millions be watching, but those that are relating to what he is sharing and those families still trying to figure out how to get back to their normal.

I think one of the things that makes you think most, is how hard this has had to be his entire life. The loving relationships, the stigmas it could bring, and the political parties he supports. What will occur next?

He notes he is a Republican on the interview when asked about Obama being the first to discuss discrimination and making sure all parties are considered even transgender. Diane quickly asked if he thought they would support him. He drops a few names and feels they will be accepting. However, since, I am hearing these specific parties were asked to comment and declined. I wonder if it was the being caught off guard or unsure of what to say as they haven’t considered if they would support someone that may have been a friend or a large supporter of yours. Wonder will they will share their thoughts or support? Have to wonder as many, will they truly be accepting? Will it be a game in the political world to reach the masses that now identify with the LGTB world? I am not trying to be a sceptic, but many years and years have shown that conservatives are not always so concerned with inclusiveness. Just my mere observation…

TG obama quote

Bruce kept advising he would reemerging as himself as a lady, he has already picked a name he will go by. However, did not share as he still has a time before the full transition would take place. He is unsure if he will change his genitals at this time. This part of the interview takes me to the moment when watching Botched while I had downtime and a transgender party had some bad cosmetic surgery. They discussed having to possibly do a mastectomy and she was completely torn as to if she would be willing to let go of her breast.

Bruce is unsure if he will be with a man or women in his next relationship. He said it is too early to tell. He said he just wants to live life and let his soul be free. He is finally being able to be himself and enjoy his grandchildren, children, and will more than likely be a voice for speaking on these struggles and being transgender. Bruce is offering to get together in a year and see how things went.

As he says, have an open mind and an open heart and his mission is to provide understanding and tolerance.  Know that support, acceptance, and tolerance are all different things. Be sure before you voice your opinion on this that maybe you know or understand where you stand. Does one of those three listed above change if it is your father, mother, brother, sister, nephew, niece, best friend, ex boyfriend??? Be true to yourself and your feelings. Be willing to learn and gain understanding if you run into this and open to learn and communicate. Fear of the unknown will easily push you to a point you are unaware of, so tread lightly…This is what it all truly comes down to. Diversity and inclusion and learning how to make it on this green earth as one. Think of how much good we can do by learning to understand one another and accepting versus discriminating. Think about it… Listen with your heart and not your ears.

Bruce Jenner1


If you enjoyed this blog, feel free to read Can I Accept Me.


Your Mouth in the Workplace

As a friend and I happened to be discussing some things on a break at work we got into a few topics that are great for friends to discuss, but strayed away from those we were unable to discuss in more detail. The odd thing about it is, for the most part these wouldn’t come up while in the office as it is rare either of us are in the office environment anymore. We are both in the office for a particular time at this point and just happened to bring up another situation that had happened prior. We found ourselves somewhat walking on eggshells as there are so many intricate things that can no longer be daily conversation at work or catching up.

Many of you know most of my background comes from the corporate world. I hope it will speak to each of you and help bring some light as to why there is a distinct line on what can and can’t be discussed in the workplace. I do think the guidelines help more than some recognize no matter what field you are in.

I found myself teeter tottering on discussing this topic due to me still working under a company. I decided to see what the internet had to say on the topic. It has a lot to share on words that should not be used based on clear reasons why. Many of those words are ones that you could easily see being used in discrimination suits and be easily insulting.


So let’s jump right in… If you work for a company that is clear on the guidelines of items that should not be discussed in the workplace. Rest assured there is always a reason why. I know many of us have strong opinions on those subjects, such as religion, race, politics, outside businesses and hobbies that may are important to us. All these are great topics to discuss when getting to know people, but can be a formula for disaster when discussing them in the workplace.


You may be one of those people that can share their opinion and keep it moving, but many are not. The topics listed above are merely the larger ones that can get people off their wagon pretty quickly. I have seen what I would consider sophisticated people lose their cool behind those and just about forget where they are at. One incident comes to mind, right before the election in 2008 we had a few people that would like to throw a few little (what I like to call crumbs) out to see if anyone would bit. They would make comments in reference to certain races only following Obama due to race and without knowing what he stood for. The same person tended to have concerns of certain discussions amongst friends and why they weren’t included. I wish people could truly understand that something’s are just left best out of the office.

The topic of religion alone infuriates some people. You have to keep in mind that you may be religious, spiritual, believe in God, or not. However, the reason these things are not allowed in the workplace is because people are more than passionate about their views on religion or lack thereof. Not to say who is right or wrong. I am a Christian, but I can sit and listen to why someone says they are an atheist. I am not speaking of having that conversation at work. Many though are unable to respect one another’s opinions and those heated conversations that come from topics that can get someone’s blood boiling will easily shift the focus from work/productivity to in-depth conversations that do not always end so lightly.

Take a moment and reflect on the larger events that are memorable to you in the world or since you have been alive. So many of us have lived through Civil Right movements, segregation, 9/11, wars overseas, bombings, and other massive news events that have left us all feeling some type of way. As many of these events lead us into precise conversations with parties we know or discuss things with on a daily. They just simply leave people with some view on some things or lack of understanding on other parts. The feelings can do largely in part due to their background, upbringing, past experiences that left them traumatized, and or just ignorance. I am not saying ignorance is an excuse, but rather more of a shade over some people’s eyes and brains due to being naïve or not researching it on their own. I can’t imagine a business in place that doesn’t have a way to report these things being discussed. Keep in mind if you decide to tread into these waters knowing that it is against company policy, it can be reported by people you aren’t even aware are listening and could be offended. I think most of being grown should be able to just step in and say; hey I am not comfortable with your conversation. We all know that everyone would not handle that interruption the same way. Some would respect the person for saying something to them versus turning it in and some would be a little disrespectful back. You just never know what will offend someone these days. If you find this hard to swallow, just thing of something you would overhear that would offend you. It may not be the things above, it could be overhearing guys talk about a wild weekend with nice looking ladies with a little more detail to their bodies than you would prefer. It could be someone sharing their weekend of getting into a drunken stupor and not remembering a thing. I really couldn’t imagine why someone would share these stories in a workplace, but you would be shocked at the things you overhear and wonder if they think about what they are sharing at their place of business. It can so many simple and not be meant to be harmful at all, but sometimes takes people down a memory lane that keeps them from focusing. It only takes one person to misunderstand something said to take the wrong way and it went from a harmless conversation to a concern.

Some people just need to feel like they have a voice. Unfortunately, work is not the place to discuss religion, race, politics, etc. You can let your voice be heard in many other ways. Use your social media as your platform and when you meet new people be open to share those ideas. Let your filter be limited in a place that is a little more conformed for those to be shared. In today’s world with violence and lack of respect at an all-time high… Businesses have to protect their number one priority with production conducting a safe environment. If they didn’t make this a priority there would be many of us no longer safe in the place that becomes our second home and supports our families. Just a little something to think about.

What Entertains You?

Many will say… What entertains you defines you. I must say I disagree to some extent. Many of us partake in watching certain shows for pure entertainment. A chance to let our minds relax and purely watch someone else’s dream unfold. I think I look at it one step further. As in, the ones creating it… what are they creating to capture a certain audience and how do you decided to capture them.

As I listen to different radio shows on my way in the office or my way out to meet with family and friends, I find myself amazed by the commercials and advertisements for certain businesses. I hear commercials that start with songs and melodies of current “hot” songs, children voices on commercials meant for adults, certain slang used to apparently attract a certain market, and other things that leave me saying hmmmm. I am not judging how people decide to market, but I do wonder if it truly captures the market they are attempting to get into the fish net. Is it the fact that we have professionals putting out a signal of what appears to be relatable sounds to capture certain people. Have we gotten to a point in today’s world that a professional can’t just advertise their product without attempting to send an SOS for what innuendo’s they feel will alert those masses and does it even work. I find myself taken back many times by the marketing and advertising underlined areas of cries to relate to only one type of market. I do agree, you can’t market the same to every market. However, I must admit it comes as a little bit of a slap in the face when you hear some of these attempts and think, this would not grab my business. It is not because I feel I am better than others, but it is because simply put, it doesn’t attract my attention in a positive manner. What it does do for me is make me think; why do they feel this would appeal to the masses? Why is this being aired on a show or shows that gears themselves toward family with “high level adult catches” that will cause parents to have to explain further? Perhaps I read to much into these things. Perhaps it is because of the quality of commercials and advertising I see happening on the online radio market that continues to grow without these attempts. Could it be that I have to consider these same things when marketing myself??

I recall when I started brainstorming and meeting over and over with one particular mentor. How he continued to ask, who is your market? He continued to drill in my head that if I did not know my market, I would not know how to reach or market to get their attention. I had to do my research and come up with commercials that best suited what I was starting and continuing to do.

I see these shows out that seem to attempt to relate to certain genders, race, and what they feel some one go through in certain situations. I just have to ask myself, although you have to generalize to some extent, what makes that final determination on how to reach out. If a company feels it is best to reach you by using slang and things they “feel” like could capture a certain market are they wrong or smart for appealing to those masses? Perhaps it is just me that finds myself bored by the lazy attempt to reach masses by using common terms that you wouldn’t use daily in your professional practice. I understand speaking to people on their level or in terms they can understand. However, remember the same way you got them to come in maybe the same way they attempt to handle or do business with you. I think we have to be careful as to what we put out there to represent ourselves as businesses and organizations so it is not misunderstood. Rest assured an attorney is not going to use the urban dictionary when preparing for a case, nor will a doctor use relatable terms to explain an illness normally. U know why, because their profession is just that. They may find a way to relate based on terms that a person can understand, but when dealing with their professional partners of all races and backgrounds they are going to be professional. Don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I am not advising that an attorney speaking with someone with no legal background use legal jargon only, but they will find a way to relate in a professional manner. If you are reading this and find yourself offended, I encourage you to take a seat and a breathe as you maybe the one of the one’s they are attempting to catch by throwing this ridiculous line in the water.

I see television shows and movies that share bits and pieces that make me think back to the first time of seeing a movie called Dancing in September. It s an older movie with Nicole Ari Parker, Isaiah Washington, Marcia Cross, and Jennifer Lewis in it. The movie shows the story line of a young black women aspiring to move up in the television world. She is met with some resistance as she attempts to bring some quality to the world of television. As she attempts to bring quality black television she is met with hurdles of it being funny enough to capture the white market and have certain things that subconsciously relate to black people. The items they found relatable to black people were things like hot sauce and skin tone of actors and actresses. I watched the movie in the last few years and thought it was pretty interesting as I found that some of the same things they struggle with in the movie are things you see in current shows now. I say that in reference to the shows Blackish, Empire, Real Housewives of Atlanta. I wonder if anyone else while watching these shows catch these things. I would say I see more of it in Blackish than the other two I names. Is it the laughs which come easy with the father Louis Anderson on the show or the struggle for a black family to still relate to some of what others would consider or recognize as normal in a black home in a suburban community. Is it relatable as the characters tend to be of a certain shade of black skin tones? I wonder if Empire ratings are what they are as they don’t seem to throw out as many relatable areas, rather they relate to so many people as some of us can see family members in people on the show based on characteristics. I won’t dive into Real Housewives of Atlanta as you can check out my blog called Reality vs Reality TV if you would like to hear my views on that show.

I’m not here to rant and rave, but hope that some of you start to think as you find what entertains you and why. Is it any different then the poor young women in Imitation of Life attempting to make it in life when being biracial was not so widely accepted. Was she wrong for wanting to enjoy the finer things in life and make a different way based on her looks and what she felt most easily related? I personally enjoyed this sad movie, but it does bring some great angles to think about. I don’t judge people by what entertains them per say as I am the first one to enjoy something that allows me a mental break. However, if you find that you have nothing else going for yourself outside of being caught in reality television or looking to define yourself by the stereotype some advise by… I am going to say you may want to take some you time and figure out what and why these things attract and keep you.

Reality vs Reality TV

In my days coming up, we didn’t have cable in the household. My mom was not in agreement on spending the extra $$$$ on it. I can’t say that I felt I missed too much. It seemed like back then without cable you missed seeing all the new videos, cartoon network, and other shows that I may not have understood anyway due to being a little naïve and sheltered back in the day. I never felt I was missing out though, we had shows like The Cosby’s, Dawson’s Creek, 90210, Saved By the Bell, Full House, Cheers, Martin, Family Matters. Now a days you hardly hear of people without cable and some form of reality television show that the entire family watches weekly.

Reality TV has become one of the newest biggest phenomenon’s. The shows based around peoples real lives have become a new norm for society. I am not sure if it has anything to do with people wanting to know how stars live or just see what other people go through in their everyday life. Looking over the TV line up there is: American Idol, The Voice, Real Housewives of Atlanta, The Bachelor, Big Brother, Survivor, The Vanderpumps, Biggest Loser, Love and Hip Hop, The Real World, just to name a few. Many of the reality shows out are of great value as they share so many positive things. They show people on the journey to their dreams, surviving unique conditions, finding love, and much more. So many of these shows don’t have a great angle shown, not saying life is normally all glitz and glam. However, some of it is just over the top. I find myself wondering if these people are really like this or if it is just for the ratings. I am not a huge reality television person but have watched it from time to time with people that I hang with. I have prior to writing this taken time to catch up on some to provide a clear opinion for myself.

I surely hope that most people are watching certain reality shows as a way to allow their brain to rest. We all have those shows that no one understands why we watch them nor requires our brain to work while watching.I have nothing personally against any of these people that were granted an opportunity to share their everyday ins and outs. After all, who would pass up an opportunity like this to share your view of the world and who you really are??

The largest issue I see behind so many of them is it seems that the nastier or more drama filled you are the more opportunity that seems to come your way. I find this shocking as it really goes against the wonderful golden rule of treating others as we want to be treated.


Across Color Lines

Across Color Lines

Today, we are jumping right in…
My heart goes out to all the people that suffered based on the no indictment and the families that continue to relive their situation every time a verdict comes down or a person is acquitted. It doesn’t matter the race, but it does matter when it appears to be a target on certain people’s back.

I am if nothing else a realistic person… wrong is wrong and right is right and some universal truths have to be in line for this. So therefore we have laws to abide by. This understandably has to be in place so all citizens are safe and we don’t go back to areas that history has taken us before.

We used to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in school:

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Not so sure JUSTICE FOR ALL is always the case… so let’s take a look. My maternal grandmother used to discuss how the news used to discriminate. When a crime was committed you know if the person was black due to the photo being shared and all the information on that person. If the accuser was white, you knew because there was no photo but rather minimal details on the party and just information given on the crime. Hmmm…. My family is not racist, but we are very aware of the differences that have come our way based on the color of our skin. Don’t mistake this as some sympathy outcry… it is about awareness. Yes it happens vice versa as well, but since right now the issue at hand has been the amount of black boys being attached and no justice. I can say now the news and reporting stations have come a long way with this. Now you see photos and hear details many times no matter the person’s race. However, look at how long it took us to get there.

A person loses their life due to unjust cause, no matter their past, justice should be done. My issue with the way they handle things is when law enforcement is involved, they instantly jump to discrediting the party that was killed or injured. I can understand if this person has been a criminal and a nuisance to the city. However, many times that is not the case. The fact that a teenager stole something from a store is wrong and should be punished, but a killing is not justified. However, I know many people of different races that have committed petty crimes and have not been viewed as a threat. It is just supposed to be ok??

It is so much more than Trayvon Martin, Jordan Davis, Michael Brown, and Melissa Alexander. All cases are similar, but with different elements. The sad things are these are to name a few names and there are so many others out there. Yet, when a drunk teen kills multiple people he gets off with probation due to him being privileged. WOW!!!! I know each case is different and I am one to see both sides as much as possible as I am a former debater. Last I checked, the law didn’t take into account the environment a person grew up in. I haven’t heard any black kids or minorities that grew up with privilege or in poverty handled different, maybe I am ill informed. If you still can’t see this, look to the parties in the public eye that have been caught doing similar crimes. Lindsey Lohan and Amanda Bynes have been out of control for some time. I don’t recall such harshness, but time and time again giving them more time to destruct or harm another party. Next thing you knew, they were in and out of rehab. How is it that one person gets so many chances more than another person when we discuss JUSTICE FOR ALL. I believe the only time I have heard background was to establish a person’s sanity. SO please correct me if I am wrong.

Take the target off of our backs America… They want us to be productive citizens, but you want to rule us by laws and harsher punishment when crimes are committed. The law is subject to interpretation but tends to be leaner on the side of parties that are not of color or minority background.

I am by no means discrediting how far this country has come. However, I do believe that so many people have blinders on when it comes to the situations. If a cop shoots, it was due to a threat. A cop is a cop, but is human. They have just as many biases, concerns; see stereotypes just as anyone else does. They are not above the law because they wear a shield. Does anyone think it is od that we are seeing so many cops act out in the last few years. You know why, because they are seeing their brother in blue get a pat on the back, administrative leave with pay, and move on after there is no punishment. IJS…

Let’s use our brain for it is for. You may not like the realization or what you will discover, but you will finally see.

Now let’s think about a plan of action. I don’t agree that violence is the answer. I do believe many people are turning to violence hoping that it will finally get their attention. The problem with the people turning to violence in your town and city is that you are destroying where you have to live and patronize every day. I understand the anger, but it has to be channeled a different way. I know it is frustrating to see the black or minority community slapped in the face, time after time. Ask yourself how your voice is best heard. Let’s keep in mind the best way to be effective in the community is by being sober and aware. The reporters mentioned while reporting about the Mike Brown case that there was weed in the air, folks this is not productive. These actually just aides in the people that feel that black people can’t conduct themselves in a manner to be effective resort to illegal drug use and destroying their own city. You have to become involved. I know so many people that won’t watch the news, follow politics, or educate themselves for their own reasons. If this you, you may not have much of a voice. We (all people) have to learn to educate ourselves, follow cases and large controversial stories to form your own opinion. Know that I would be this aggravated if this was a White, Asian, Indian, or other race or ethnicity of a child.

Share with me what you think of these continual situations and how we can all make things better?
If you don’t have an opinion after reading this, read The Connotation of Being Black and see if you have an opinion then.

Locked Up Frenzy

No one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens, but its lowest ones.
-Nelson Mandela

Many of us know someone that is locked up for different reasons. I come today to discuss this topic after the many people I have seen that have been locked up and forgotten about. Are these people really any different then who we are daily, are they the ones that possibly took it too far and now have restricted liberties. I don’t condone violence, breaking the law of any sort, but I also do believe that many people make mistakes and after coming out of jail or prison they are labeled (which doesn’t help them trying to get back to a normal life). All crimes hold a different punishment, but something’s ring similar to people and that is losing their support system while locked up.
Many jails and prisons have these people in areas with no air, no heat, and facilities with rodents. I am not saying they have to have a decked out spot, but not everyone there deserves to be without air, heat, etc. What it must be like to know you made a mistake and wake up in the middle of the night to find snakes, rats, spiders out and the guards aren’t willing to assist in securing your safety.

I have known so many people that lost it all due to their decisions. I am not saying they didn’t need time to get themselves together, but I wonder what it is like to lose your support team in the blink of an eye. Once a person loses it all and only has walls, cold bars, and a cot left to their name…does it bring them to reality? Do they struggle with how to recover and rehabilitate? Can it be done when everyone you cherished walks away? Why do people walk away? Is it that we don’t want to be known as the person that knows someone who sold drugs, caught while intoxicated (although there are a ton of people that do this and never get caught), or the ones that trusted someone that was not who they thought they were. 86% of prior offenders go back to prison within 3-5 years. This statistic sinks my heart. Many will feel that this is not their problem as people have to have a certain mindset. However, I can attest that many will never know the struggle of someone that has a record that will always be with them. NO matter their talent, what they bring to the table, it is 100 times harder for a prior felon to come up. If they are released and can barely get a job making enough to stay above the poverty line, limited access to resources, and the reality that you will re-live your past every time you attempt to better yourself. Every application, every conversation about your future, every time you try to do better and have to revisit this instance.

I know a guy that was a football star in high school. He was known and loved by just about everyone he came into contact with. Only to fall victim to sleeping with a young lady that lied about her age. (please refrain from making judgment, know neither of us were there). Along with losing your scholarship came with a parole violation. Only for this young man to be young and less focused and breaking his violation. Missing check ins with his parole officer that resulted in violation of parole. He now has a record, has done time, and everyone that praised him has walked out of his life outside of his immediate family and a few of us. His boys left his side as soon as that sentence came down. He was no longer left to be reminded of his great potential but rather the label of a predator. I knew this person fairly well. I have tried my best to keep and touch and even visit from time to time. I see him and realize that he has the will to fight on and faith in God that all will be ok once he is released. However, I was heartbroken finding out that all these people that had been your personal cheerleaders when you were doing well, have now fled your side. They don’t keep in touch. They don’t check on your mother. They don’t even ask those of us that know you if you are ok and how you are. This man is not dead; he is doing time for a mistake you can’t correct. Am I saying I think he shouldn’t do time… I can’t make that call because I hardly know all the details. However, what I do know was the result of the people that claimed to be ride or die and down for life.

I am not speaking of our hardened criminals that have molested kids, serial murders, etc. I am a firm believer that there is a battle on Earth daily between good and evil. In this battle, some of us fall victim to weaknesses, mental illnesses, and simply making a deal with the dark side. However, I do believe people can change if they honestly see the error of their ways and give their heart to God. I hear so many people quick to judge one that has done time or has a record without knowing the story. I am not saying it will make it ok or understandable, but it may be more relatable then imagined. My biggest question is where does the support go?? All the family and friends that cheered you on that now have stopped making visits, checking on you, and writing you. How do we allow our everyday lives to take over us and not remember that their mistake is no worse than ours that may not have been shared? We can make all the time in the world to watch reality television, kick it with people that aren’t offering anything positive, but can’t make time to give back.

If one could take a moment and think of what life would be like without God’s grace and mercy and our support systems, it would be pretty rough. Our support systems allow us to remember that through the mistakes we make, we are not forgotten. I have seen people get locked up that had so much hope and promise and within that moment, lost it all. Many would argue that they deserved this as they had to infringe on someone else’s liberty to make it. I ask you to stop and ask yourself, do you know their story. What they were going through? Did they need help and society turned their back? Did they make a cry out for help but the people that were normally there were not there? I am not making excuses, just curious?

I know there are programs in place to assist once a felon gets released. However, do we help them just enough to fall back into the same situation? Or do we truly offer enough for this person to see they can attempt to live a normal life with certain restrictions? Law and Order aired a show (many are based on real life events) where a man that got out of prison after taking the rap for his daughter’s mother’s father was a productive citizen. He worked two jobs, checked in with his parole officer as he was supposed to, and was trying to get back on his feet to be able to assist with his daughter. One day the little girl was kidnapped and the mother said he took her. Due to his past being sketchy the police went for him first. Only to find that he had two jobs and was hoping to see his daughter more. Later on it came out that the child’s mother had her kidnapped for random from the family to pay her husband’s gambling debit. The young girl’s mother ran off with her husband and left her little girl alone after the truth was revealed. The police and CPS offered the father full custody so the young girl would not have to go into foster care. The young man was overjoyed to have his daughter with him full time. However, the same day he got this news he shared with the cop that assisted him in this that he did not have a place to live where he could take his daughter safely. He asked how he would he get there with no assistance from someone to help watch her while he worked two jobs? The officer offered him money for a hotel room and told the man, he would figure it out. Later that evening, the officer got a call saying the young man tried to rob the hotel. They got there the man told the cop he had no way to care for his daughter and he was taken back to jail. They checked the gun he had and it wasn’t loaded. Later to realize his fear became reality that he could not care for his daughter with the label he had been given and without assistance in someone being able to watch her while he worked two jobs to try and provide a normal life for them.

I am simply wondering if a little can go a long way. Making time to visit that inmate. Asking the family if they need assistance with putting money on their books. Writing the person and making sure they know they are not forgotten. I know many will say they don’t have the money to assist, but is it that you don’t have the money or can’t do without that bottle of liquor for the weekend, those cigarettes (that are killing you slowly), eating out one meal less, or drinking a few less Starbucks a week. I am not trying to lay claim to your money and what you do with it. Do you wonder if a little could go a long way? Have you been that person that was only in need? Were you met with people being open about assistance or resistance?

Being in a prison or jail can be just as bad as your mind being imprisoned by your past. Many of us can’t seem to escape the whispers that remind us that the writing on our walls stay deep engraved in us no matter how many times you paint them. So are the people actually behind bars with limited freedom any different than the women that have been verbally abused for years and can no longer see herself as God sees her? Are they any different from the person you see on the street panhandling, but have no idea what events took place for them to there.
Some will say it is not my issue and I don’t know anyone in this situation. One day you may and I hope you can keep this in mind.

Can we rehabilitate one by IMPACTING1????

The Connotation of Being Black

Once upon a time there was a young lady that became friends with a young man that was a little more outspoken then she was. As their friendship developed, she called his house one day and his mother answered. She advised the pre-teen that she did not allow white girls to call her son and requested to speak with her mother. The young girl proceeded to put her mother on the phone as requested. The women advised her mother that this little girl was no longer welcome to call her house. The girl’s mother advised the women that her daughter was black and wanted to confirm the age of the women’s son as her son’s voice was fairly deep. This may be an interesting start to this, but it is part of my story. I was 12 when this occurred and was right at the beginning of starting to talk with boys on the phone. I learned at an early age that speaking a certain way and carrying myself as such would mean I may be depicted as something completely different based on the color of my skin, the way I speak/spoke versus what I brought to the table.

In an article from CNN, the President stated, “Sometimes African-Americans, in communities where I’ve worked, there’s been the notion of ‘acting white’ — which sometimes is overstated,” he told the group. “But there’s an element of truth to it, where, OK, if boys are reading too much, then, well, why are you doing that? Or why are you speaking so properly? And the notion that there’s some authentic way of being black, that if you’re going to be black you have to act a certain way and wear a certain kind of clothes, that has to go. There are many different ways for African-American men to be authentic.”

So many times, our children now days start to learn this same lesson mentioned above. They learn it through the shows they watch, the music they hear, the environment they are around, and the way people treat or what they say to them. I am by no means saying we don’t all have some preconceived notions of people on site, but rather it is how you react that makes the difference. I hear people discuss perception versus reality all the time. I am not sure how you evaluate this on the daily basis, but know we all have times of looking different from what people perceive us as. I have seen the battle in so many attempting to fit between the color lines based on where they felt most comfortable. Their comfort level may vary based on how certain people treat them, the response to mistakes, the stereotype, etc. I titled this as I did as this has been an ongoing issue. I am not indicating this is everyone in the world. However, if it brings awareness to you as you live your life, then by all means… I have done what I needed to do. I can’t begin to understand why kids would want to run around holding their pants vs wearing a belt. I can’t understand why someone would prefer to do things that attempt to label them or throw them into a certain category. However, those doing this don’t make them wrong. Just since I have been around, people are quick to label kids that wear their pants below their waste, gold teeth, tattooed up, smoking blacks (this is not weed), and loud gansta rap. The comment acting black or acting white, irritates the hell out of me!!! You can’t act a color, but if your mindset agrees with this comment then you are influencing and sharing those views with people around you. Views that are being passed on to the kids and the future of tomorrow. They don’t come out of the womb caring if someone is white, brown, dark, light, natural or straight hair. Behaviors are learned and carried on, they aren’t birthed with these.

My question is, do you agree? Does being black bring a connotation with it, either good or bad? Do you think people have certain apprehensions when it comes to black people that they do not have about White, Asians, Indians, etc? If so, why is that? We can’t simply say crime rates and drug use. Many people that I have had these convos with based this on a small select group of people they have been around or had bad dealings with. My issue with that is all races have some bad apples; it isn’t just the black race. I have heard people say that their parents don’t mind them bringing someone of another race home as a friend, but if they were to bring someone they were dating home, they know the person they bring home could not be black. I would ask why is that…well it is due to what has occurred with past people we have known that were black. Huh?? What does this mean. Do we judge an entire race off of certain encounters with different individuals?

The movie Imitation of Life is a perfect example. This movie shows a young girl running from her background due to trying to get a better opportunity. Now in the day this was made, her being another race made a difference for her to advance. She carried herself and surrounded herself with certain people in hopes that her race would not be revealed. So many may be able to connect to this due to the timeframe this was released. However, it still shows that being black can come with a stigma that does not take into account your individualism nor talent.

The movie Dancing in September is a movie that shows a young black woman attempting to make it in the world of television and movies. She is striving hard to make a difference in the things she brings to people’s homes and to view for enjoyment. She ends up meeting a television executive that helps her along the way. They both have a similar vision. However, along the way one show that takes off that has a black cast is asked to do more things that seem “blackish” or that would seem to relate to others while still being in the black sterotype. She and he had issues with this, but ultimately did add additional things to “make it more relatable” that just happen to not be so funny to those trying to bring a different identity with black entertainment.

I hear the things kids say to one another through listening to my niece and nephews. My nephews are biracial and I know at some point they will be asked some of these things or some dumb parent of a child they are visiting will make a comment. I dread those days for them. They all dress nice, hair combed, love different times of music. I pray that they will only be viewed based on their characteristics.

I refuse to lesson my vernacular to help someone else feel more superior or less comfortable being around me based on my race!!!!

Does being black really only come down to speaking ebonics, dressing a certain way, urban hair styles and colors, talking loud, fake nails, fake hair, and derogatory things. Is there a way to act a color or race? If so, what depicts that race and why?

Who does welfare really help???

(Disclaimer-I have no preconceived notions of people that have been or have ever been on welfare or maybe in the future. Ill speak on what I have seen, heard, and continues to come up in the media and stories I hear from people I know.)

The origination was for the government to have a way to help the unemployed and the underemployed. Most of what I read about went back to the Great Depression. In a time where the government was attempting to solve the issue that many families suffered no matter race, gender, or family make up. It was a great tool in place to assist families in distress. Welfare on the city of Dallas site discusses providing short term emergency needs to eligible residents. It is meant to be a temporary service until the party can return to gainful employment or gain other resources. It goes on to list areas of eligibility and how appointments are scheduled or you can walk in. Welfare encompasses all things from Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, Food Stamps, aid for the elderly.

However, over the years you have to look and wonder if the ropes are as tight on it as they should be??? I’ve heard the stories and known some people that were riding the system just because they could. Does that make it is my business, not really…but when we are speaking of my money going toward assistance to help others and many are using it for the wrong reasons then I will voice my opinion. Where does it come from? DID anyone else wonder this? What do you consider welfare? I personally don’t only see it as food stamps, or TANF, but we as fam and friends can be enabling others by providing this as well.
If people are using it for what it is there for…I have no problem. These programs can be great assistance to those that have had layoffs and unforeseen financial struggle. The stats found while researching this suggested that there is not enough money out there to help everyone that needs assistance. They noted that many of the families defined as poor actually have people working in their households, but just not making enough to be considered living above the poverty. The sites shared stories of women that have gone to school to make a better life for them and their kids and still have a hard time finding or keeping a job. I believe in those aspects, it is wonderful that we can offer that assistance.

I have known people that have been laid off and turned to these programs for help only to be turned away due to reasons like: your car is less than ten years old (even without a car note), you make too much (although after they take out for medical benefits, you can’t make a decent living). Just curious why you hear of so many people that need these programs and can’t get assistance, but on the flip side of the coin you hear of those using the system and they seem to be living on cloud 9. I don’t mean necessary luxury, but making it without the woes of working and having to care for their family. We have many people sitting on our system, making money, not raising their kids and aiding in the revolving cycle that their kids will get out and do the same. Don’t misunderstand; some kids will break that cycle. However, when a person that has multiple kids, unable to work due to being on disability and is legally married claims on paperwork not to be legally married to get more benefits; there is a concern. Why is there not a way to check this? How is it that we continue to support someone in the system continuing to have kids they can’t care for? If you have one child and things happen or multiple kids that you were able to take care of prior, most people understand financial turmoil and can see past that. If your life has revolved around getting over on the system with psychological issues that don’t actually exist, continuing to have kids, not running a structured household (I know this is subjective), and the cycle starts back over with your children doing the same thing. Shouldn’t something be done, said, stopped? I mean, I have worked hard for years. I have had my struggling moments and not that I fault people for turning to the program as that is what it is there for. I fault them for abusing it. I wonder daily how it is that people can abuse this system and not be criminally charged for theft, but people that make options for their own body like smoking weed are put in jail for their choice to do something to themselves. At least it is a personal choice, if they want to spend their money on it… I could care less. However, when you are speaking of reaching into my pockets, people I know pockets…it gets me on my soap box. Is there a reason why people on these programs can lie about marriage and get away with it? I am not randomly picking this stuff up. I have had people tell me that is how they keep a certain amount of money coming in while their husband works. They have had their kids trained to do or act a certain way during evaluations in order to get disability checks or discussed taking in other kids they knew and advising up front the amount they could get for caring for them. We are speaking of functional kids, no learning disabilities, no handicaps, just being taught from their environment that this is ok. Then when they are popping out kids in high school and focused on having another before trying to graduate rather on building their future or finding a legal job, there is something to be said. In that particular scenario, I thought it was odd that the mother felt it was ok for her sons to keep this behavior up, but told her daughter she better not come home pregnant. NOW WAIT A MINUTE!!!!! WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS SAY TO YOUR DAUGHTER? I accept what they are doing because of what nonsense. Thank goodness for that little girl, who did graduate without a child and I believe it was because she had to assist in caring for her nieces and nephews as her teen brothers and sisters were not fully able to. But wait!!! Did you bring this child up in this way? Did you help them see a world where you don’t have to have a 9-5 or a manager looking over them or teaching them that nothing comes without hard work? What kind of kids are we putting back in society to date our sons and daughters if they think that life is about lying and cheating? Does a son that sees his father at home all day, feet propped up, doing nothing but playing video games gain respect for him as a hard worker? Does a daughter watching her mom day after day never attempt to work, want to have the same drive and ambition? Please understand in these environments it is 100xs harder to walk out on faith and decide to do better. I have heard men say it about their baby mommas and vice versa about their baby daddies (I don’t personally care for these terms). I wonder how people that sit home and aren’t trying to do better feel knowing their kids are learning either how to be like them or have resentment toward them. What is the uproar about drug testing for a county program??? If productive citizens are drug tested and screened before being offered a job…is there a reason why county programs don’t offer the same. They they have implemented this based on screening assessments. Do you think if a criminal thinks like a criminal they would answer this honestly knowing they could lose their “benefits”? I guess some would say yes, as some would, but majority won’t.

I do believe sometimes we become a person’s welfare as well. If we have become a parties personal ATM, then we maybe enabling them. I am not speaking of scenarios of assisting here and there. I am speaking of fully supporting people that are not willing to get out and be productive. I have been guilty of this one too. I haven’t always known when I may not really be helping someone by passing funds over and over, but really hindering them because there was no effort there. I truly believe this is a form of welfare. I have worked two and three jobs at times to make ends meet. So… I have to say looking at what I have done for some, probably wasn’t the best. I have had those that I have asked, can we sit and evaluate where your money is going. I was generally met with a stern no. My response was, then if you continue to expect for me to support your living style… we will want to evaluate that as I am unsure if you truly need my help or are just becoming dependent on it.

Don’t misunderstand by this blog; I am a generous and caring person. I do not have respect for anyone that is willing to live on the system because they will not make an effort.

Are you someone’s welfare check? Do you know people abusing the system on welfare or making no effort?