Category: Family

As the time passes and the tears come less frequently

I think back on the smiles and moments that were created

The times of hugs and cooking and when talking was a not a past time

A father that was dedicated in every way to make sure

His children knew his love and that he was there for them through the long haul

Time has seen to fly by since you are no longer physically here

However, there are those moments of longing to just fill you in on

The new changes, choices, and next steps in my life

I find myself inspired to do more because I know you knew I had so much more I wanted to do

I wish I had the answers for how things occurred and where if anything could have been different

I’ve come to accept that all I have left are the imprints you left on my heart and soul

A man that adored me from my first breath to his last

Who would tell it to me like it was and not sugar coat it just to appease me

I hope you know how much I loved you and adored you

I always prayed that my husband would possess your hard working qualities, the love of children you had, and the openness to discuss and communicate about anything

If I paid attention to my visions then, I would have known long before my engagement ended that my husband had not crossed my path… as you weren’t present at my wedding

I thank you for being a father that others could appreciate

Wanting to help me become the best person I could be

As well as not shying away from me in those teenage moments where I may have gotten a little beside myself
What can I say Pops… Jaws… Daddy… I will love you always and you live on in my memories and thoughts

This is more of insight into me. I hope you learn something new and find yourself with a better understanding of who I am, what I stand for, and my purpose. Along the way, if you gain something that makes you think twice, I have done what I set out to do.

The Daughter

As a daughter, we strive to be what will appease your parents. I recall a time when that was so big for me. As I have grown and matured, I realized my purpose in life was not to fill dreams that my mother had. I can make her just as proud by just being me. Most of us seek that acceptance from our parents. I reached an odd middle ground at an early age of learning to debate and wanting to understand my mom and father’s thought process. Let’s say that didn’t always go over well as it came off as me questioning them. I have always loved my parents and appreciated being blessed with two that put me first and gave unconditional love. I look forward to the day that I can shower my mom as my dad is deceased with anything she wants. A child that grew up outside of anyone’s shadow and aiming to prove my own. I was an introvert for years and many times still am today. I believe in making time to spend with my parents and will push the envelope by having those hard conversations when my mom steps out of line.

The Christian

I recall the stories my grandmother used to tell me as I got older. She used to tell me how I would pray for the sick as a young child and cry about the death of Jesus. I had dreams and nightmares for as long as I can remember. She told me to start writing them down as there may be more to them. I think back to the church we attended during my most crucial years of my life. It was a family affair and a church where women didn’t really wear pants. The sermon was way above my head and I can’t say I took a lot a way. However, as I have grown and accepted my relationship with Christ, I have learned so much about myself. I have had so many battles between visions, relationships, death in the family and at times wasn’t sure how to get back to some sense of normalcy. I was introduced to a church by a friend that opened my eyes to so much. I attended regularly and began to start really understanding and having that passion to grow. I am the first to admit I sin and my sin is not different than anyone else’s. I am guilty of not attending church as much as I should or pray as much as I should. It is truly a process and at times a battle daily. I have had times in my life feeling like the devil just won’t let go and in times of weakness I played right into his game. It can be hard to walk off that path you believe you are content. I had to really take a look in the mirror and what was in my heart as that is the one thing outside of God’s word that keeps me grounded. Thank God, God knows my heart.

The Friend

Loyalty, Honesty, Integrity, and a bond not easily broken.
I am one that believes in friendships. I have had some friends since I was 11 years old and only gained from there. It is such a blessing to know what friendships that become sisterhoods are like. I have learned so much from these ladies and hope that I have brought some light to their life as well. As we have grown together and circles turn, I have tried to gain as much as I can from the experience. I have never been the friend looking for what I can gain or benefit from it. It is about the bond that can be formed. What can we learn and motivate one another through? I used to battle on how to be there through it all. You learn real quick what friendship means to you and who has your best interest at heart. No we don’t have to talk every day, every week, or hang once a month. We don’t tend to hold things from one another that would make or break the friendship. I will support those friends of mine until the day I take my last breath. I don’t make a difference in how I treat my female and male friends. I don’t use the term loosely nor do I take it loosely. When I use it, it may come with some minor expectations of mutual respect and knowing how to communicate. I grew up with some pretty great guys as well. We don’t talk all the time either but true to form like back in the day, I feel like I could call on some of them for anything. Some of um know be just as good as I know me. As the circles grow, I am always enlightened by the blessing of friendships and passion to support that comes with them. I thank you all for being a part and allowing me to be apart of your lives.

The Girlfriend

#loyal #support #respect
As a girlfriend I am loyal, supportive, and will be respectful. I can be the number one fan and also keep it real with you. I believe in a relationship looking to go to a lifetime partnership and marriage can be different if the foundation isn’t built with getting to know one another. I am one that likes to have discussion on current trending topics, learn things I may not know, and open to see where I can grow. I have matured in the way of learning and wanting to be lead versus leading. I have had a very strong independent pull for most of my life even in serious relationships. I can admit I have learned so much from my serious relationships. I think back to my first serious relationship and I learned real quickly the boundaries of guy friends and how to respect my relationship first. I believe along the way I have learned to have better conversations versus talking at someone which I was guilty of years ago. I am the type that will celebrate your promotions, goal completed moments, and anything else that is important to you. I believe if at some point we see a future together, getting to know one another’s family is important. I learned in my second serious relationship to watch what I said to who about my relationship and the details. I think most importantly through it all, I have learned the difference between what I need and want. All my wants don’t need to be met and all my needs may not… but once the one God has for me, finds me. I may have a better understanding of the 80/20 rule as I have become clearer on that as well.

An Aunt

One of the best titles of them all. I think most people think I am over exaggerating when I say that. I didn’t blog about it taking a village for no reason. I know the influence my family had on my upbringing. I will admit that the first time I saw these kiddos my heart was theirs from the start. I dreamed of what my niece would look like before she was born. My first nephew, I would just hold and talk to when I would keep him when he was little. I secretly loved the moments that one of them got sick and I was asked to watch them. Not because I wanted them to be sick, but because I don’t believe being an aunt only lends me to the fun and easy times. As they get older, I want to be able to have conversations with substance with them. So one day many years from now, they will look back and think that we could talk to TeTe about anything. We didn’t have to censor it to her feelings because we knew she would love us anyway. I do make it a point to remind them that I will love them no matter what happens and how things change in life. I believe it is important for children to know unconditional love from more than just their parents. I want and enjoy going to see their games, programs, listen to them talk about test, homework, and their friends. It makes my heart smile. Even more so when they discuss their friends. It is just something about when I can do for them or surprise them that lights my heart up. I love to hear their laughter and man do they give the best hugs.

The Blogger

It all started from a dream of wanting to help others. After losing my father, I prayed and decided it was time to pursue my passion. I always had a drive and pulling force when it came to helping others. I have been a long time believer in supporting others and their endeavors. My passion is fueled by wanting to make sure the little ones in my life understand; life is going to happen and as we learn and grow from those avenues, we build our character. In the midst of trying to see through the storm of grief was born the clarity of sharing my voice.
My background and foundation stem heavily from strong family values. At a young age the family celebrated all occasion’s together, discussed politics, race, and education. My debate background opened my naïve eyes and equipped me with the ability to be able to see both sides of many situations or at least be respectful in understanding the other parties reasoning. A former debater in high school and continued to give back by judging state and regional qualifying tournaments. As a former debater, it helped me learn how to form ideas with reasoning behind them and become more comfortable with communication. Commination is another area I feel so many are lacking in, but can grow from it if willing to learn and be flexible.
I started a homegrown blog named Roots to the Soul for the purpose of discussing different topics and attempting to bring awareness and openness. I am the youngest out of my siblings and a first generation college graduate and have seen what the lack of communication and being closed can result in. I have broadened the scope of sharing my voice by blogging about events, online radio shows, and current mainstream topics. In my spare time I spend time with family, work on my future book, and catch up on reading and movies.

If you enjoyed reading this and would like to hear more about my struggles and how I have made it… Check out The Day Texas Changed, The Power of Strongholds, and Learning to Forgive

Unconditional love, generous, kisses booboos, a parent before a friend, careful, your first teacher, strength, passion, pain, tears, smiles, joy, and starts to set the standard for how you view the world. I don’t know that there is a difference between Mom, Momma, Ma, and Mother as they all tend to be names of women that hold the qualities above. I know mine went by the names of Mommu, Mom, Ma, Auntie, Aunt Dot, Grandma, Gran, Aunt Lisa, Aunt Linda, Momma Sharon, Mrs. Boykin, Mrs. Ferguson, Ms. Mallard, Mrs. Belino, Ms. Harge, and I am sure there are a few more I may not have gotten to list.

From the moment they get to hold you first in their arms and have a star in their eye…they felt you were perfect. They knew their blessing in God trusting you with them and vowed to take being a mom seriously.
I think of my own relationship with my mother as far back as I can recall. I was always considered a daddy’s girl, but I love my mom. We haven’t always seen eye to eye, but I know she has unconditional love for me. She doesn’t always agree with the way I cut my hair, share my opinions, etc, but I know it is just because she wants what is best for me.

A mother many times is the first example we have of love in our lives. She teaches us without even knowing it or trying. If she holds us when we cries, when she wipes the tears, or if she takes time to discuss the concerns that are causing those woes. The undying love of a mother is something not everyone knows. The smallest things from wiping your nose, to teaching you the proper way to speak, and brining smiles to your face. It is something about a bond of a mother and their child. She many times knows the things her child will struggle with long before the child or anyone else does due to being observant. Just my two cents on what I have seen from the mother’s in my own family and many family’s close to me. They are often referred to as momma bears for a reason. They can be the kindest, gentlest person, and change in the blink of an eye to protect their child.

They sure know how to make a house a home. If it’s the smell of the aroma from the dinner, snacks, or homemade chocolate fudge for ice cream sundaes. The way they make the bed or tucked you in at night. The kind words they shared when you didn’t make the cut, or the cheering for you like no one else would or will. The joys they share as they see you growing and becoming more independent. They want to cry because they aren’t ready to see their bird take more steps on their own, but they give you enough room to enjoy the new avenues life is taking you on. They want to save you from all the bad things of the world and keep you safe from your first heartbreak, the injury, the car accidents, the daily challenges of life. However, they can’t protect us from the world, yet they choose to share us with the world.

Moms don’t always get the credit deserved… but their day is coming up on Sunday. I believe we shouldn’t just show our appreciation for them one day out of the year. I can’t say I always make a big deal out of that day due to that. However, I do acknowledge and do my best to make sure my mom knows that I love and appreciate her throughout the year. It is the little things that matter to my mom. So spending time, making dinner, shopping, looking around, and time with the grandkids.

We don’t always turn out the way they think we should. Nor do we always follow the path they prefer. They may judge here and there, but it isn’t because they want harm upon us. They love us no matter what because to them we will always be their babies. They never give up hope on the ones that are disrespectful. They may not always be so forth coming on how things happened in their life due to appearances, but will eventually let that wall weaken to attempt to save their own from walking that same path.

I know everyone doesn’t have a flowering relationship with their mother. I have to wonder for those that were given up for adoption if one day you can find solace in maybe she gave you up to save you. If she was molested and concerned she would only see the pain in which you were created. If she is an addict and knows she won’t keep you safe or not sale you for the next high. Or if she just knew and accepted that she wasn’t ready to put someone else’s life above her own. I commend her for not keeping a child for the sake of being called mom and trying to be a mother when she knew she would not arise to the occasion.

So this goes out to all my family, extended family, and girls that are mothers. I pray the day my day comes, I will encompass so many of your qualities as being a mom.

Love you ladies!!!!

Full House

Different Strokes

Blossom

Sister Sister

Similar for 1 reason??

Single fathers raising children and as I researched and located the song below

Kid Rock shares the lyrics of Single Father:

Latley ive been spendin lots of time with my kid

Tellin him stories

About the things that we did

When we were a family

Long time ago

Ive answerd his questions

Till im blue in the face

Wish all that hurt in him

I could erase

But i tell him the truth

Cause he aint to young to know

Today I want to take the time to discuss this side of the story of two men raising their children. In today’s society, we are so quick to put down our men for not taking care of their children. I would say I minimally hear of the praising of or for men that are supporting their children versus when it is a women. I think a men and women deserve equal prays for taking care of a child they equally created. I am not speaking of unforeseen situations like rape, molestation, etc. I am speaking of between two consenting parties that knew the possible result of enjoying the pleasure of creating the little bundle of joy. Please only continue reading if you are open to hearing these men share their perspective candidly. I started with asking these gentlemen a few questions to give me a snippet into their lives. One in particular shared so much… I believe I saw his life play by play.

Loving Father817 -34, in the DFW area, and does window auto glass repair

I ran across this young man while handling some business with my car being serviced. He was helpful, full of smiles, and in sharing a little about himself shared that he is a single father. I thought how odd, I have been planning to write on this perspective. I had to ask if he would be willing to share a little about being a single father with me at some point as I would love to hear his story.

This young man is truly motivational. His background, decisions, making the choice to put his daughter first…is just the beginning for him. At a young age he was faced with learning how to cope with a broken family. His mother and father divorced while he was a preteen. The parents decided it was best for the sons to live full time with his father and the girls to stay with their mother full time. At some point his father remarried, but his new step mom wasn’t exactly what a child would dream of. While dealing with the changes that comes with divorced parents and gaining a step parent, his life was quickly whisked into a whirlwind. The loving home he once knew with his biological parents was no longer available. He was now in a home where he was mentally and emotionally abused. His father never came to his rescue and he soon decided to take his life into his own hands after being in and out of foster homes but being sent back to the home. Lovingfather817 ran away from home at the age of 11. A child, now alone and turning to the streets was only looking for survival. As time moved on, he found himself in trouble, time and time again as survival comes at a cost when the streets are now your family. One last brush with the law left him thinking of how to turn his life around.

He met one women and became involved. She had two daughters from previous relationships. As their relationship got more serious the young lady became pregnant with his son. She questioned if she would keep the baby and wanted confirmation that he would be there. She had experienced men walking out on her and her prior children and still carried that fear. He assured her no matter what occurred he would be there for his son. One day came that she disappeared with his son and her daughters and he was unable to locate them. One more thing for this young man to carry on his shoulders while attempting to make it.

As time moved forward and he longed for a complete family, he met a young lady that he felt he would live the rest of his life with. Him and this young lady were married and later had a child. His void of having a complete family was starting to be filled. Still longing for the one son he had still been unable to locate, they decided to start a family as well. Eventually the two of them had a daughter and although he was candid that things got rough at times, he took pride in providing and being there for his family. He hoped to create an environment full of love for his wife and daughter. It was a goal of his for his daughter to not experience the impact of a “broken home” Later to only find out his wife was cheating on him with someone that they were both close to. She eventually left him for this other party. He decided at that point of realizing she was not willing work things out, that he wanted to make sure he was an active part of his daughter’s life.

This loving father focused on the best way to make a living and provide for his daughter. He met a man on the street who allowed him to help with small jobs and it helped him getting by with a place to stay off and on as he lost everything once his wife made the decision to leave. He was newly motivated to make sure he would be a part of his daughter’s life. Along the way he met a few people that became family. He gained a support system and people willing to assist in a way he had not had or seen before. He was able to get on his feet and sit and have some adult conversations with his ex-wife. She is in a demanding field and he wanted her to know that he was willing to keep their daughter whenever possible. He said they discussed things and as he started to get on his feet on his own, he has his daughter 98% of the time. Since his ex-wife is in another relationship, they even discussed how discipline would be handled, visitation, etc.

He said it wasn’t hard to shift his focus, because she is the most important thing to him. God and faith has gotten him through, but he never wants his daughter to feel as he did coming up. He said things are tight sometimes, but the most important thing is to be able set a foundation for his daughter and provide. I could hear the smile as he discussed how much they enjoy arts, crafts, the park, etc together. As things have continued to look up for him since last August, he is just thankful. He has no fears as a single dad, he just approaches situations that come up, head on. He feels he has “appreciation for things many people don’t” due to his background and upbringing.

He admits he had to find balance and keep his faith intact. He has learned a lot while becoming a single parent and he puts his daughter first. He said he does get complements from people as they hear about him discussing his relationship with his daughter. He did note, that he has a deeper appreciation for single moms, now knowing what it is like to raise your child on your own.

Andy Brown – 40, in the DFW area, author/life coach/Creator of The Online Happy Hour

He is a father, life coach, host, and a writer. He is one of the hardest working men that I have run across in a long time. He takes pride in being an involved father and writing about things that will reach out and help others. He doesn’t try to hide behind the simple topics to discuss and believes in giving back to his community. He is Andy Brown and known by many as AB. He is a Kansas City, MO native and a graduate from Grambling State University.

He became as single parent raising his son in August of 2014, his son made the choice to come live with him versus his mother. He feels being a single father meant being responsible for his responsibility which was now to raise a man as he has been taught and more. When discussing if he had any major adjustments in his life once becoming a single father, he said there wasn’t much. He just made more time available for time and space to allow him and his son to learn more about one another. Andy advised the greatest challenges and moments this transition has brought was recognizing he would need to give his son his time as they are still learning and growing together and making, having, finding time to date. Andy did share that he did adjust his music and the character of people he had around once his son came to live with him. While discussing if being a single father has brought on any additional stereotypes or stigmas, he noted that the one thing he has noticed is the police and their lack of value for the Black men have become more and more eye opening. He also advised the young teen dress style and fashion is one of those things as well.

Neither father has experienced any discrimination from women for stepping up and being full time dads. Most women have tended to be more complimentary of it, if anything. I believe both are single ladies…don’t quote me on this. LOL. Let’s make sure we are giving praise where it is due when we see, meet, and engage in conversation with these type of men. We all know every man is not willing, no matter the situation.

I would like to just say thank you to these men for opening up and sharing a piece of themselves. I can appreciate someone sharing what motivates them, what curve balls have come in life, and how they adapted. You men are inspiration to the next man that may find themselves in this family dynamic and may not be sure if they can bare the weight of it make it through the struggle. Keep in mind just like Will Smith who played, Chris Gardner,in The Pursuit of Happiness. It will be a change, your life may go to a place you do or don’t expect; but be the man you were designed to be and watch the blue print unfold.

If you enjoyed this blog and may be one that does not have their father or know someone missing their father or considering walking out on their children. Feel free to direct them to the blog Imprint of an Absent Father.

I wonder if people understand the power they hold in becoming a parent. I don’t think it takes much to become one as we all know a few pumps can grant someone this… but to truly be a parent, not just in name but literally. As a dad, you don’t have to be a man mentally, but just sexually active with someone that is fertile. Let me get right in this folks as this this topic gets me on my soap box.

I was a girl that did have her father around as much as possible. I had a father that defined work ethic in everything he did. He believed in working and taking care of his kids. This man was not only focused on helping based on child support, but was willing to split other items needed with my mother on top of child support. When it came to me getting my first relaxer, going from glasses to contacts, dances, debate tournaments, clinical rotations, being a mediator, writing for the school newspaper and on to college; he was there every step of the way. He was a man that would work multiple jobs and make time to call, visit, etc. He did not have me every other weekend due to working odd early hours, but best believe he made time to leave his legacy behind. He was a man that believed in having real talks with me and didn’t sugar coat much. He had his flaws, but he made sure I knew as his daughter and many times called his twin that I knew he loved me unconditionally and that there wasn’t anything I could do that we could not discuss and work through. For this, I can be nothing but thankful for the time I had him on this earth. As we just passed the third year of him passing and I am determined to live his legacy to the fullest. It about killed me to make it through two funerals and when they started to lower him into the ground, all I could think of was how cold he would be and how alone he would be. I about lost it in that moment. I say all this to impress upon you folks, not looking for empathy. I’ve dealt with my grief. My questions to you as a father; are you leaving an IMPRINT, RESENTMENT, or a LEGACY???

I see so many men that handle up on their responsibilities and I couldn’t be more proud. The men out there are going to make sure, even if their baby momma is ignorant that they are paying child support, getting court documents in order to see their child and spend that time. A parent raising a child takes more than money to raise them to be productive citizens. So many people struggle with issues they never dealt with as a child due to lack of love or feeling important to their parents at a young age. I specifically wrote about fathers/dads in this segment, but there will be one about mothers in the future.

As a dad, you didn’t have to invest much, but to be a father much is required. It requires you to be selfless, aware, self-evaluating, etc. Many of us don’t mind the act in making these children, but aren’t ready to be a parent. Don’t get me wrong…we all enjoy the action to make them and have had times not being so careful. What do you do once that pregnancy stick is a + vs a -?? At the moment you are made aware, it is time to get your mind right. I am not saying it will be easy or something to do overnight, however, it is something’s you should sit and think about. I see so many of our (this is universal, not specific to one ethnicity) men take the route of ducking their head under their tale versus standing up for an innocent child you helped create. You aren’t willing to try and better yourself or think about the future seeds you will plant in this child by walking out the door. I wish I could hear from some of these JOKERS that walk out after things don’t work out with the baby momma, the wife, the mistress, etc. It truly brings tears to my eyes when you see these wonderful blessings from God (let me mind you that some people can’t reproduce) questioning themselves due to these piece of crap (I was thinking another word) men. Men that are too busy to help pay for this child because he is building another family or raising other children. Don’t get me wrong…. Some have distance between them and can’t be there for every activity and that is understandable. I am speaking of those that can’t seem to get out of some chicks butt long enough to keep up with visits, the one that can’t pay child support for their own kids but can help support her kids because that is who he is with at the time. What makes this ok? Do you think of what that child goes through along the way? Of course not!!! You aren’t there to deal with building that child’s spirit and reassuring them it isn’t them, it is the man labeled dad. You may be a dad, but can you be a father? If you can’t monetarily be there, can you be there emotionally? Can you be there to be your daughter’s first love, first date, first cheerleader and/or for your son to show him how to treat women, how to be a man, how to deal with issues men suffer through? Or does all that go out the window the moment that something better comes along or someone you don’t have to handle your responsibility because it means you can’t go out one or two weekends a month or that you can’t hang with who you are dating because your child needs your undivided attention. What is the price you are willing to pay for this?? What happens when that three year old starts to ask where daddy is? When they realize other kids mention their dad, but they have no memory of theirs. When you do come around sporadically and feel that child should have some internal pull towards you, but he/she has no idea who you are. So I ask, why come around if you won’t be consistent. The point when that pre-teen is starting to see things for themselves. The little one will start taking note that their father that only calls when it is convenient for him (not because the mom is mentioning this, but because they are old enough to start forming their own opinion). The dad that only offers to pick them up when they can spend time only if their girlfriend is free. WHAT THE HELL. (side note, women if this is your man and you are good with this, I am going to need you to self-evaluate) The dad that will come to lunch and buy holiday gifts, but doesn’t ask how school and other activities are going on the regular. The day that child gets to a point to see things for themselves… You absent fathers may want to get your shields up, because they will have questions and opinions one day of your behavior. Their comments and feelings may not be to your liking, but best believe they will be real. Please, please think about these little roots that lead to their soul that you are imprinting. I have seen so many people battle with this for most of their adolescent life due to daddy issues.

Is it enough to know that your daughter may grow up doubting herself because the man that should have first shown her unconditional love is absent? Will she turn to being promiscuous? Or dating men beyond her age bracket and maturity level due to searching for that love? Will she turn to men that show the same characters you do because she is searching for something missing? Is it enough to know your son will question his manhood? He will be unsure how to handle that feeling of how to be a man? How to deal with questioning his feelings through puberty? How to handle stress? How to be there for a woman? What is ok as a man or indifferent? Do you care about the imprint you are leaving on your legacy??? Are you walking away because your father wasn’t there for you? Is it ok to continue that chain of disappointment? If you grew up without your father, don’t continue the cycle. Break it…

One more thing, if you are present in the child’s life but are not fully active; this still applies to you. A child recognizes people that don’t really want to be bothered many times more often than adults. Dad’s that claim to be there, but really aren’t, can be just as damaging. If you are there and ignoring them on the weekends for video games, pawning them off every time you get them, etc… that is not spending time. What I will say, is be ready for that day when that child comes to you and explains they did not appreciate your presence as it was clear you didn’t want to be bothered. Yep… that is real.

For those that need proof in the pudding: ( I chose older stats on purpose…to let it be a reminder of how long the trend goes on… but best believe it goes way further back)

•Fatherless aggression: In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed “greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households.”
Source: N. Vaden-Kierman, N. Ialongo, J. Pearson, and S. Kellam, “Household Family Structure and Children’s Aggressive Behavior: A Longitudinal Study of Urban Elementary School Children,” Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 23, no. 5 (1995).

•Hungry for love. “Father hunger” often afflicts boys age one and two whose fathers are suddenly and permanently absent. Sleep disturbances, such as trouble falling asleep, nightmares, and night terrors frequently begin within one to three months after the father leaves home.
Source: Alfred A. Messer, “Boys Father Hunger: The Missing Father Syndrome,” Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality, January 1989.

•Dadless years: About 40 percent of the kids living in fatherless homes haven’t seen their dads in a year or more. Of the rest, only one in five sleeps even one night a month at the father’s home. And only one in six sees their father once or more per week.
Source: F. Furstenberg, A. Cherlin, Divided Families. Harvard Univ. Press. 1991.

•63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)

Do I have your attention yet? I wonder if now, will see the correlation of what an absent father can leave on a child. You have a comment? You feel like you have an excuse you would like to share?