As time moves forward, I find myself looking back and forward and always evaluating what should be done next. In that process, I find myself looking at the mistakes I have made in the past. I have stayed in a nutshell so long, it be hard to allow myself to just let my hair down and even have a good time. I tend to stay tense and at times feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I find and accept that many times I have done this to myself.
The people in your life, the way you take care of you, the peace you need in your life… all things that need to be a priority. I can’t say it enough!!! I will tell you to be careful who you keep around. I am not saying to cut a person off at the first signs of differences. I am saying that as we get older, make time to review those “friendships” and past relationships. Take the time when it is needed so you can stop wanting to go back and get answers that was truly over years ago. Be honest with yourself with what you can and can’t deal with. I know this will differ per person, however, it is essential to communicate well through any relationship. We have to stop doing things that cause more detriment to ourselves in order to please others. I decided some time ago to stop fighting for friendships that didn’t do the same. I decided long ago to let the past relationships be that. I no longer need or feel as though I have to nurture those friendships. Many times relationships and friendships end due to the season for that relationship being over. We hang on so long due to our comfort zone and I am guilty of it. At times it can be hard to cut those ties due to past experiences. I urge you to ask yourself why you would put someone else above your own sanity. I can assure you if it is a one sided friendship or relationship, it will drain you one day. You will wake up and feel as though you are empty in that avenue. So… I say all this to say. You can’t be 100 % you without thinking of you 1st. I am not saying be selfish, as it isn’t. I am saying that you have to care enough about you to make smart decisions for you. I have always been the type of person to put others before me for most my life. If I could help them, if I can be there for them, if I can save them…I promise you, you will reach a day of trying to figure out how the relationship took that turn. You will have to have some accountability where it is concerned.
Wake up, Wake up, Wake up… I am not saying people can’t learn or change the way they handle things or communicate. Time has proven that many are not self-aware enough to care about these things until it is something that may benefit them. I have seen friendships and relationships ruined due to the lack of being self-aware and accountability. It is not your job to save people. You can’t change the choices they make. As we know we all live a life that may remind us daily of our past mistakes and highs, but you just have to take it day by day and focus on the next step. Accept what you have learned in the process and be aware as the test will come again. I tend to do horribly at this because of my undying belief that people want to be good people. The truth is, many people are not so focused on just being good people. By nature many are selfish and don’t see much outside of their own window and by the time they do, the damage that has been done can be unrepairable.
I can say I have shed my last tear on unrepairable relationships. Learn to recognize that and operate accordingly. I used to find myself searching for ways to repair these and it can just take so much time and really just distracts you from the lesson to be learned. Be thankful for the good times and put the rest to bed. Don’t shed your tears on people that will never realize what you brought to the table nor be open to accept the error of their ways. Let go, Let go, Let go… Your Happiness, Your Destiny, Your Path depends on it.
Ugh! Sometimes it is so hard to cut the ties. When you have someone in your life who has been there for years and at times loved you, supported you, shown to truly ride for you…when that changes it can be heart wrenching to let that person go. I get it, it is a must when that person is STEALING your joy. At the end of the day, we have to be our own best friend. Meaning, we have to be THE one to keep our best interests at the forefront.
So true Counselor… It is never easy and have been one of my down falls, holding on to pple too long and investing too much of my time into those that aren’t able to do the same vice versa. I wish there was an easier way to get through it, but it is all a process.