The Pieces of Me

In Family by K Joi1 Comment

This is more of insight into me. I hope you learn something new and find yourself with a better understanding of who I am, what I stand for, and my purpose. Along the way, if you gain something that makes you think twice, I have done what I set out to do.

The Daughter

As a daughter, we strive to be what will appease your parents. I recall a time when that was so big for me. As I have grown and matured, I realized my purpose in life was not to fill dreams that my mother had. I can make her just as proud by just being me. Most of us seek that acceptance from our parents. I reached an odd middle ground at an early age of learning to debate and wanting to understand my mom and father’s thought process. Let’s say that didn’t always go over well as it came off as me questioning them. I have always loved my parents and appreciated being blessed with two that put me first and gave unconditional love. I look forward to the day that I can shower my mom as my dad is deceased with anything she wants. A child that grew up outside of anyone’s shadow and aiming to prove my own. I was an introvert for years and many times still am today. I believe in making time to spend with my parents and will push the envelope by having those hard conversations when my mom steps out of line.

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The Christian

I recall the stories my grandmother used to tell me as I got older. She used to tell me how I would pray for the sick as a young child and cry about the death of Jesus. I had dreams and nightmares for as long as I can remember. She told me to start writing them down as there may be more to them. I think back to the church we attended during my most crucial years of my life. It was a family affair and a church where women didn’t really wear pants. The sermon was way above my head and I can’t say I took a lot a way. However, as I have grown and accepted my relationship with Christ, I have learned so much about myself. I have had so many battles between visions, relationships, death in the family and at times wasn’t sure how to get back to some sense of normalcy. I was introduced to a church by a friend that opened my eyes to so much. I attended regularly and began to start really understanding and having that passion to grow. I am the first to admit I sin and my sin is not different than anyone else’s. I am guilty of not attending church as much as I should or pray as much as I should. It is truly a process and at times a battle daily. I have had times in my life feeling like the devil just won’t let go and in times of weakness I played right into his game. It can be hard to walk off that path you believe you are content. I had to really take a look in the mirror and what was in my heart as that is the one thing outside of God’s word that keeps me grounded. Thank God, God knows my heart.

The Friend

Loyalty, Honesty, Integrity, and a bond not easily broken.
I am one that believes in friendships. I have had some friends since I was 11 years old and only gained from there. It is such a blessing to know what friendships that become sisterhoods are like. I have learned so much from these ladies and hope that I have brought some light to their life as well. As we have grown together and circles turn, I have tried to gain as much as I can from the experience. I have never been the friend looking for what I can gain or benefit from it. It is about the bond that can be formed. What can we learn and motivate one another through? I used to battle on how to be there through it all. You learn real quick what friendship means to you and who has your best interest at heart. No we don’t have to talk every day, every week, or hang once a month. We don’t tend to hold things from one another that would make or break the friendship. I will support those friends of mine until the day I take my last breath. I don’t make a difference in how I treat my female and male friends. I don’t use the term loosely nor do I take it loosely. When I use it, it may come with some minor expectations of mutual respect and knowing how to communicate. I grew up with some pretty great guys as well. We don’t talk all the time either but true to form like back in the day, I feel like I could call on some of them for anything. Some of um know be just as good as I know me. As the circles grow, I am always enlightened by the blessing of friendships and passion to support that comes with them. I thank you all for being a part and allowing me to be apart of your lives.

The Girlfriend

#loyal #support #respect
As a girlfriend I am loyal, supportive, and will be respectful. I can be the number one fan and also keep it real with you. I believe in a relationship looking to go to a lifetime partnership and marriage can be different if the foundation isn’t built with getting to know one another. I am one that likes to have discussion on current trending topics, learn things I may not know, and open to see where I can grow. I have matured in the way of learning and wanting to be lead versus leading. I have had a very strong independent pull for most of my life even in serious relationships. I can admit I have learned so much from my serious relationships. I think back to my first serious relationship and I learned real quickly the boundaries of guy friends and how to respect my relationship first. I believe along the way I have learned to have better conversations versus talking at someone which I was guilty of years ago. I am the type that will celebrate your promotions, goal completed moments, and anything else that is important to you. I believe if at some point we see a future together, getting to know one another’s family is important. I learned in my second serious relationship to watch what I said to who about my relationship and the details. I think most importantly through it all, I have learned the difference between what I need and want. All my wants don’t need to be met and all my needs may not… but once the one God has for me, finds me. I may have a better understanding of the 80/20 rule as I have become clearer on that as well.

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An Aunt

One of the best titles of them all. I think most people think I am over exaggerating when I say that. I didn’t blog about it taking a village for no reason. I know the influence my family had on my upbringing. I will admit that the first time I saw these kiddos my heart was theirs from the start. I dreamed of what my niece would look like before she was born. My first nephew, I would just hold and talk to when I would keep him when he was little. I secretly loved the moments that one of them got sick and I was asked to watch them. Not because I wanted them to be sick, but because I don’t believe being an aunt only lends me to the fun and easy times. As they get older, I want to be able to have conversations with substance with them. So one day many years from now, they will look back and think that we could talk to TeTe about anything. We didn’t have to censor it to her feelings because we knew she would love us anyway. I do make it a point to remind them that I will love them no matter what happens and how things change in life. I believe it is important for children to know unconditional love from more than just their parents. I want and enjoy going to see their games, programs, listen to them talk about test, homework, and their friends. It makes my heart smile. Even more so when they discuss their friends. It is just something about when I can do for them or surprise them that lights my heart up. I love to hear their laughter and man do they give the best hugs.

The Blogger

It all started from a dream of wanting to help others. After losing my father, I prayed and decided it was time to pursue my passion. I always had a drive and pulling force when it came to helping others. I have been a long time believer in supporting others and their endeavors. My passion is fueled by wanting to make sure the little ones in my life understand; life is going to happen and as we learn and grow from those avenues, we build our character. In the midst of trying to see through the storm of grief was born the clarity of sharing my voice.
My background and foundation stem heavily from strong family values. At a young age the family celebrated all occasion’s together, discussed politics, race, and education. My debate background opened my naïve eyes and equipped me with the ability to be able to see both sides of many situations or at least be respectful in understanding the other parties reasoning. A former debater in high school and continued to give back by judging state and regional qualifying tournaments. As a former debater, it helped me learn how to form ideas with reasoning behind them and become more comfortable with communication. Commination is another area I feel so many are lacking in, but can grow from it if willing to learn and be flexible.
I started a homegrown blog named Roots to the Soul for the purpose of discussing different topics and attempting to bring awareness and openness. I am the youngest out of my siblings and a first generation college graduate and have seen what the lack of communication and being closed can result in. I have broadened the scope of sharing my voice by blogging about events, online radio shows, and current mainstream topics. In my spare time I spend time with family, work on my future book, and catch up on reading and movies.

If you enjoyed reading this and would like to hear more about my struggles and how I have made it… Check out The Day Texas Changed, The Power of Strongholds, and Learning to Forgive

Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing YOU with us. You are definitely a blessing to those you encounter. May God continue blessing you and giving you the strength and direction you need to accomplish everything your heart desires. So proud of you and so glad we are friends!!

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