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As a friend and I happened to be discussing some things on a break at work we got into a few topics that are great for friends to discuss, but strayed away from those we were unable to discuss in more detail. The odd thing about it is, for the most part these wouldn’t come up while in the office as it is rare either of us are in the office environment anymore. We are both in the office for a particular time at this point and just happened to bring up another situation that had happened prior. We found ourselves somewhat walking on eggshells as there are so many intricate things that can no longer be daily conversation at work or catching up.

Many of you know most of my background comes from the corporate world. I hope it will speak to each of you and help bring some light as to why there is a distinct line on what can and can’t be discussed in the workplace. I do think the guidelines help more than some recognize no matter what field you are in.

I found myself teeter tottering on discussing this topic due to me still working under a company. I decided to see what the internet had to say on the topic. It has a lot to share on words that should not be used based on clear reasons why. Many of those words are ones that you could easily see being used in discrimination suits and be easily insulting.

So let’s jump right in… If you work for a company that is clear on the guidelines of items that should not be discussed in the workplace. Rest assured there is always a reason why. I know many of us have strong opinions on those subjects, such as religion, race, politics, outside businesses and hobbies that may are important to us. All these are great topics to discuss when getting to know people, but can be a formula for disaster when discussing them in the workplace.

You may be one of those people that can share their opinion and keep it moving, but many are not. The topics listed above are merely the larger ones that can get people off their wagon pretty quickly. I have seen what I would consider sophisticated people lose their cool behind those and just about forget where they are at. One incident comes to mind, right before the election in 2008 we had a few people that would like to throw a few little (what I like to call crumbs) out to see if anyone would bit. They would make comments in reference to certain races only following Obama due to race and without knowing what he stood for. The same person tended to have concerns of certain discussions amongst friends and why they weren’t included. I wish people could truly understand that something’s are just left best out of the office.

The topic of religion alone infuriates some people. You have to keep in mind that you may be religious, spiritual, believe in God, or not. However, the reason these things are not allowed in the workplace is because people are more than passionate about their views on religion or lack thereof. Not to say who is right or wrong. I am a Christian, but I can sit and listen to why someone says they are an atheist. I am not speaking of having that conversation at work. Many though are unable to respect one another’s opinions and those heated conversations that come from topics that can get someone’s blood boiling will easily shift the focus from work/productivity to in-depth conversations that do not always end so lightly.

Take a moment and reflect on the larger events that are memorable to you in the world or since you have been alive. So many of us have lived through Civil Right movements, segregation, 9/11, wars overseas, bombings, and other massive news events that have left us all feeling some type of way. As many of these events lead us into precise conversations with parties we know or discuss things with on a daily. They just simply leave people with some view on some things or lack of understanding on other parts. The feelings can do largely in part due to their background, upbringing, past experiences that left them traumatized, and or just ignorance. I am not saying ignorance is an excuse, but rather more of a shade over some people’s eyes and brains due to being naïve or not researching it on their own. I can’t imagine a business in place that doesn’t have a way to report these things being discussed. Keep in mind if you decide to tread into these waters knowing that it is against company policy, it can be reported by people you aren’t even aware are listening and could be offended. I think most of being grown should be able to just step in and say; hey I am not comfortable with your conversation. We all know that everyone would not handle that interruption the same way. Some would respect the person for saying something to them versus turning it in and some would be a little disrespectful back. You just never know what will offend someone these days. If you find this hard to swallow, just thing of something you would overhear that would offend you. It may not be the things above, it could be overhearing guys talk about a wild weekend with nice looking ladies with a little more detail to their bodies than you would prefer. It could be someone sharing their weekend of getting into a drunken stupor and not remembering a thing. I really couldn’t imagine why someone would share these stories in a workplace, but you would be shocked at the things you overhear and wonder if they think about what they are sharing at their place of business. It can so many simple and not be meant to be harmful at all, but sometimes takes people down a memory lane that keeps them from focusing. It only takes one person to misunderstand something said to take the wrong way and it went from a harmless conversation to a concern.

Some people just need to feel like they have a voice. Unfortunately, work is not the place to discuss religion, race, politics, etc. You can let your voice be heard in many other ways. Use your social media as your platform and when you meet new people be open to share those ideas. Let your filter be limited in a place that is a little more conformed for those to be shared. In today’s world with violence and lack of respect at an all-time high… Businesses have to protect their number one priority with production conducting a safe environment. If they didn’t make this a priority there would be many of us no longer safe in the place that becomes our second home and supports our families. Just a little something to think about.

Many will say… What entertains you defines you. I must say I disagree to some extent. Many of us partake in watching certain shows for pure entertainment. A chance to let our minds relax and purely watch someone else’s dream unfold. I think I look at it one step further. As in, the ones creating it… what are they creating to capture a certain audience and how do you decided to capture them.

As I listen to different radio shows on my way in the office or my way out to meet with family and friends, I find myself amazed by the commercials and advertisements for certain businesses. I hear commercials that start with songs and melodies of current “hot” songs, children voices on commercials meant for adults, certain slang used to apparently attract a certain market, and other things that leave me saying hmmmm. I am not judging how people decide to market, but I do wonder if it truly captures the market they are attempting to get into the fish net. Is it the fact that we have professionals putting out a signal of what appears to be relatable sounds to capture certain people. Have we gotten to a point in today’s world that a professional can’t just advertise their product without attempting to send an SOS for what innuendo’s they feel will alert those masses and does it even work. I find myself taken back many times by the marketing and advertising underlined areas of cries to relate to only one type of market. I do agree, you can’t market the same to every market. However, I must admit it comes as a little bit of a slap in the face when you hear some of these attempts and think, this would not grab my business. It is not because I feel I am better than others, but it is because simply put, it doesn’t attract my attention in a positive manner. What it does do for me is make me think; why do they feel this would appeal to the masses? Why is this being aired on a show or shows that gears themselves toward family with “high level adult catches” that will cause parents to have to explain further? Perhaps I read to much into these things. Perhaps it is because of the quality of commercials and advertising I see happening on the online radio market that continues to grow without these attempts. Could it be that I have to consider these same things when marketing myself??

I recall when I started brainstorming and meeting over and over with one particular mentor. How he continued to ask, who is your market? He continued to drill in my head that if I did not know my market, I would not know how to reach or market to get their attention. I had to do my research and come up with commercials that best suited what I was starting and continuing to do.

I see these shows out that seem to attempt to relate to certain genders, race, and what they feel some one go through in certain situations. I just have to ask myself, although you have to generalize to some extent, what makes that final determination on how to reach out. If a company feels it is best to reach you by using slang and things they “feel” like could capture a certain market are they wrong or smart for appealing to those masses? Perhaps it is just me that finds myself bored by the lazy attempt to reach masses by using common terms that you wouldn’t use daily in your professional practice. I understand speaking to people on their level or in terms they can understand. However, remember the same way you got them to come in maybe the same way they attempt to handle or do business with you. I think we have to be careful as to what we put out there to represent ourselves as businesses and organizations so it is not misunderstood. Rest assured an attorney is not going to use the urban dictionary when preparing for a case, nor will a doctor use relatable terms to explain an illness normally. U know why, because their profession is just that. They may find a way to relate based on terms that a person can understand, but when dealing with their professional partners of all races and backgrounds they are going to be professional. Don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I am not advising that an attorney speaking with someone with no legal background use legal jargon only, but they will find a way to relate in a professional manner. If you are reading this and find yourself offended, I encourage you to take a seat and a breathe as you maybe the one of the one’s they are attempting to catch by throwing this ridiculous line in the water.

I see television shows and movies that share bits and pieces that make me think back to the first time of seeing a movie called Dancing in September. It s an older movie with Nicole Ari Parker, Isaiah Washington, Marcia Cross, and Jennifer Lewis in it. The movie shows the story line of a young black women aspiring to move up in the television world. She is met with some resistance as she attempts to bring some quality to the world of television. As she attempts to bring quality black television she is met with hurdles of it being funny enough to capture the white market and have certain things that subconsciously relate to black people. The items they found relatable to black people were things like hot sauce and skin tone of actors and actresses. I watched the movie in the last few years and thought it was pretty interesting as I found that some of the same things they struggle with in the movie are things you see in current shows now. I say that in reference to the shows Blackish, Empire, Real Housewives of Atlanta. I wonder if anyone else while watching these shows catch these things. I would say I see more of it in Blackish than the other two I names. Is it the laughs which come easy with the father Louis Anderson on the show or the struggle for a black family to still relate to some of what others would consider or recognize as normal in a black home in a suburban community. Is it relatable as the characters tend to be of a certain shade of black skin tones? I wonder if Empire ratings are what they are as they don’t seem to throw out as many relatable areas, rather they relate to so many people as some of us can see family members in people on the show based on characteristics. I won’t dive into Real Housewives of Atlanta as you can check out my blog called Reality vs Reality TV if you would like to hear my views on that show.

I’m not here to rant and rave, but hope that some of you start to think as you find what entertains you and why. Is it any different then the poor young women in Imitation of Life attempting to make it in life when being biracial was not so widely accepted. Was she wrong for wanting to enjoy the finer things in life and make a different way based on her looks and what she felt most easily related? I personally enjoyed this sad movie, but it does bring some great angles to think about. I don’t judge people by what entertains them per say as I am the first one to enjoy something that allows me a mental break. However, if you find that you have nothing else going for yourself outside of being caught in reality television or looking to define yourself by the stereotype some advise by… I am going to say you may want to take some you time and figure out what and why these things attract and keep you.