The Day Texas Changed

I recall the days when my smiles were plentiful,
Sun shined brightly and my heart loved easily.
The simple joy of watching others have a great time, until…

One year in the Spring I took a trip with a friend only to return to a new journey,
To come off cloud 9 and discover my father was ill.
A turn of events became a whirl wind,
As he began to no longer be able to dress himself, drive himself, or sign his own documents
This was a life I had not known as this man had been a manly man.
He loved to cook, clean, dress nice, always laughing, and hardly complained.
Days and nights ran together as time flew by,
Trying to balance the new life of caring for my father, my career, and care for myself was a life I did not know.

From one change to the next,
How hard this must have been for a man, tha had been on his own since he was 17 and never returned home, now relied on his family and friends for the smallest things in life.
This illness swindled in and took his pride much like a tornado comes in and destroys a town.

One hospital trip turned into many endless trips.
His tarnished attitude lead to refusing surgeries, treatments, and diet plans.
The nurses and doctors soon advised there was nothing more they could do and in a matter of time his last breath would be taken.
They could not pinpoint the day, month, or years only that their work was done.
This all lead to reality hitting us both like a fright train.

One day the doctors advised he was in stable condition, but not out of the woods,
Within a week his body disagreed and he took a plunge to the other side.
One flat line was the short beginning to the end.
His journey wasn’t a yearlong and his fight was fought hard with the struggle between seeing God’s plan and accepting his part.
The day soon came where God gave him rest.
The days now go on, one by one, and time passes like nothing happened as my days pass like an eternity.
My days and tears all run together in the moments of wishing to hear his voice one more time, feel his hug, or watch Lifetime movies together with the back patio door open.
But the day he took his last breath, I knew… Texas had changed in a way that would never be the same

10 Replies to “The Day Texas Changed”

  1. A wonderful poem as a tribute to your Awesome Dad and how much you loved him! I miss him too…your words touched my heart ….I could feel your emotions as I felt like crying. Nothing in this world is more devastating than losing a loved one. But all the glory goes God for his peace and comfort that only he can give when we need him and he is always on time! Amen! Your Dad would be proud of you !:)

    1. Thanks Auntie 🙂

  2. Counselor Webb 10 years ago

    There are days I honestly wonder about how you are feeling and coping with the loss of your dad. I pray for you often. This is an unavoidable pain that only God can heal. I hope as you continue on this new journey, you find peace as you write your blogs sharing your story-your life and strength as you pursue your hopes and dreams. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. I know your dad is so proud of you and I am too. Great poem KJoi!!

    1. It hasn’t been easy. I came back to TX with people telling me I seemed diffrent and didn’t seem to be motivated by much if anything. You are right God can and did heal that pain, but I still have my times. The constant reminder that as my life goes on he will never be there to celebrate my victories, hold my child, or walk me down the aisle. However, we had some great times and a ton of memories that will forever live on.

  3. Hello “Princess” as mom and dad would call you, i too being a daddy’s girl understand everything you were expressing. I too cry when thinking about your dad just as much as i cry for my own! He was a great man and always there for you! He is a big part of who you are today! Im older and still look up to you in alot of ways! Congrats on the blog! For me you were never less motivated….but just figuring out what “Kandace” wanted!!

    1. Aww. Thanks Nikki 🙂

  4. Monika Teague 10 years ago

    Wow. Some have called me un-emotional at times and if only you could see me now in tears in my room after reading this. I know how much your Dad has ALWAYS meant to you, how great a man, uncle, and father he was. I don’t think I’ve ever hurt more for anyone else in my life than to see my cousin, much like a sister to me, go through what you did with your Dad. I would always think if only ALL Dads could be like your Dad! I know Uncle Larry is probably dressed to the nines right now chillaxing in the upper room, a toothpick in his mouth, talking real smooth, and smiling down at you with great pride of the things you’ve done, doing, and to come.

    1. Cuz… what can I say. That comment brought tears to mine. Thank you is all I can say.

  5. "Inspiration" :) 10 years ago

    Such a transparent post! Your strength and courage after losing your father is the part you did not write about! Your resilience and ability to keep standing rooted in your faith and certain that God is always GOOD, no matter what life brings is what I remember most about this time in your life. You did not give up! I am sure your courage is a reflection of being raised and loved by a strong “manly” man!! 🙂

    1. Thanks DeLanea. Very true, I did not share that side. I don’t think I saw myself in that light, but it is good to know how I came off during that time. I think I was focused on the day to day with just changing positions and trying to keep going after just making a move to another state.

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